Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Enquiring...

Zizek:
- easy moralism is a problem
- we don't yet see the new contours
- can we step out of the system, can we imagine a society not organized by the State?

Nietzsche:
"...where you see ideals, I see what is human, alas, all too human."
...a loosening up of moral certainties, intellectual certainties... - Translator
Will Self: "a guide that you should not think like him, but a guide that you should think for yourself"
...be the moral guide post-God era
Schopenhauer - art is the only relief from the pain of living, particularly music
Wagner - opera 'The Ring'

'The Will to Power'
'The Will to Self'
- self mastery, knowledge, physiology, psychology
institutionalizing of this knowledge in psychotherapy
Christianity banished the body from human society
'Human, All too Human'
Individualism - think for oneself

"Forgive yourself your own self"

Sending himself out into the wilderness
"Self Mastery" "Turning this muck into Gold"

'The parable of the mad man'

"Behold I am weary of my wisdom (...) I need arms outstretched to receive it"
'The Overman'

"The peak and the abyss are now one (...) loneliness I must feel..."

"We are deprived of strength when we feel pity"

The overman - the mountains - going up into the mountains, the ice, over-man, getting over yourself, letting go of all that happened, disappointments, expectations, goals not reached, letting it all go, getting over it.

Sartre:
"... every gesture we made was a commitment"
search for the meaning of freedom
Existentialism
- freedom, action, despair
- you are in charge of your own life
- you are allowed to build it how you want

He refuses everything
message of hope

[books about books]

you are responsible for the time you are living in...

- Simone de Beauvoir -

phenomenology - philosophy of the workings of the human consciousness - Edmund Husserl - conscious, relate to an item in the world, not as an idea in your mind
- who you are is a function of what you do -
the contingency of existence
"Nausea" - no reason for existing

[Use of stories: Nietzsche, Sartre, Camus] - complicated philosophical ideas into story narratives
 - the key to existence: the absolute or the absurd
"Being and Nothingness" (inspired by Heidegger's 'What is Metaphysics' lecture)
"...philosophy and life have really become one"
"The Flies" - play "No Exit" - Hell is other people

Always a choice, no matter how small. Always a choice

"You are already involved, even if you don't think you are"

"Become aware of the significance of your situation"

'He owned nothing...he even threw away all his books one day'
Juliette Greco - wrote lyrics for her
"I am my liberty"

["the answer my friend is blowin' in the wind"]

[the problem of the pedestal, putting one person up as leader, rather than keeping the responsibility, onus of each of us to decide/understand for ourselves. Asking not 'what does Sartre think?' but what do I think?]

Krishnamurti:
A total revolution of what is
To be: total awareness: 'be aware of the trees, the blue sky through the trees...'

[the white pigeons living in my garden, on my windowsill]
"the mind is extraordinarily alert then."
"hearing many words is not listening...when we hear we either accept or reject or we translate into our knowledge...or we compare...all these."
"listen...there is no comparison or rejecting
the quality of listening is attention
And when you attend totally...there is the art of listening, and that art of listening puts away anything that is not true, when you give your whole attention...you listen to the totality of living"
'Actually what is, not what we ant to be, what we think we are'
'If we look at actually what is that will bring about a tremendous transformation'
'I suffer - physically and psychologically - Physically I can do something ... not knowing what to do  I escape...
Can I look at it without any demand to overcome it, to justify, to, just to observe it.
DO IT!'
'We suffer, can we look at it, observe it, be quiet with it, not accepting it, just being quiet with it. Great meditation.."
"No Please, Do It!"
'A great energy derives - it is there!'
World problem not a national problem
First one has to be free of it oneself then get up and talk!
If every human being wants to solve this problem he will get up and do it!
Like war, we have accepted war as a way of living


Transformation of the mind - a way of living differently
Is to understand what is

'If we go after bred and butter we get lost in the superficial, if we go beyond bread and butter first then this problem does not arise I think'

With the children:
"what do you want to talk about?"

Concentrate - focusing your thought your energy on something
is it not difficult to concentrate without thoughts coming in?
try to push them away  thoughts come in- you're not concentrating
first see what is happening
why do thoughts come in?
you try to suppress thoughts
when you suppress? They come back - futile to suppress


'lets both of us look at the lizard'
not forcing you to look at the book
your interest is in the lizard not in the book
lets both of us look very very carefully
First of all, I have no distractions
what is important is that you watch, pay attention, listen.
"If you love something there is no need to concentrate"
- meditation also means measurement
- meditation is free of measurement
- meditation can only take place when there is no effect, no concentration


"I asked you what you would like to talk about, now I would like to talk about something"


-Human beings have a hidden capacity, a talent, conditioned by family, society, your own talent is destroyed by this pressure
Corruption is selfishness


"DON"T BE CORRUPT
BE NOTHING 
THEN YOU LIVE"

no images of yourself
if you are insecure be insecure and find out what it means, physically inside etc.  Then ask what is security, insecure physically, economically, in public opinion, relationships, find out!

when you learn where is that insecurity, then you are secure, when you find out for yourself where you are insecure, the moment you know and have learned a great deal about it, then you are out of it.


Begin rightly, at the beginning


Fear, what is fear?
Thinking brings fear, what is thinking?
never did rid of anything because then it comes back
As long as you are thinking about the future then there is fear
use your brain to find out. what is thinking, imagination, what you've seen you record and then think, our brain is recording 
Two kinds 
- necessary to drive, learn 
-  I want, I need - selfish - our brains they become limited small
Memory
Memory is part of thinking. Memory is dead gone


Find out what Truth is!
Truth - you can't describe it
Beauty is Truth


'will you sit quietly for a minute?'


- Is meditation the understanding of the problem of living?

until a human being becomes a light to herself 
- if one is relying on someone else then one is living in a perpetual state of anxiety
why in ones life is there such chaos, why is there such disorder enquiring why not seeking order...

'You can't solve the problem on any level except totally'

Brian Cox:
Gravity - Saturn's Rings - subtle power of gravity and the impact gravity has on the rings of Saturn

Conversations in flux...June/July 2012 Part 2


We speak of books
Of letting go
Of making it count
Resonate
With the receiver
It's hard to give
For nothing
Without purpose
Without an
Understanding
Of the value
The intrinsic
Value 
To us
What would it take
To acknowledge
The passing on
How to facilitate
An appreciation
Of what is
Occurring
In the
Exchange
Of letting
Go
From one life
Into The Life
Of another
Objects
Of beauty
Of joy
Of sustenance
In the soul
Of moments 
In solitude
Though never
Alone
Within the pages
Within the confines of 
The space
You occupy
Within the 
Words
Of Excitement
Of Learning
Of Sadness
Not your own
But some one else's 
Shared
We speak of
Letting go
And 
Making it count
To do so
Without resolution
But with more
Questions
Arising
To stimulate
The conversations
Ongoing
Reverberating
In flux
With each other
Resonating
Across space
To others
Speaking of
Similar
Subjects
With questions
Abounding
That go unanswered
In this time
But 
Move us all
Nearer to an
Understanding
Closer to
Each other
And what we
Need to be here
To
Be.
'You  can't take pictures of the moon'
he told me years ago
"You can't take pictures of the moon'
I still remember
Him saying it
Every time 
I try
And I often try
To take pictures 
of the moon
Looking up
To understand
To wonder
To feel the wonder
In my soul
The wonder
of another place
I will never go
But like to see
perhaps because 
I will never go
Maybe this is why
I try
To take pictures of the moon
Though he told me 
Years ago
I can't.


We talk of Sisyphus
Pushing his rock 
Forever pushing
Up the hill
Becomes aware
Accepts fate
Continues
Goes on
Goes on
Camus tells us
Nature abhors suicide
I learn about the cell
The checkpoint
the
Metaphase
And like the word
So much I write it down
Trying to understand
The structure
The cycle you describe
Exposed
Raw
Sky-lined
(Though we didn't use that word
It occurs to me now)
And the cell
Again
Acts as a tool
To understand
The cell membrane
Boundary
Surrounding
Permeable
But stable
Having a choice 
Making decisions
Being Aware
Not swayed by every
Encounter
Choosing what to take
What to leave behind
To continue
To grow strong
To evolve
We talk of many things
Quickly
Quickly
Leaving it all
Hanging in the ether
The space between
Stay in the light
I said
I've been told it before
And some how 
It helps
Somehow 
Being told
Reminded
To 
Stay in the Light
Helps

Big wind blowing
Change coming
Fierce
Severe
Striking
A
Chord
In the heart
And soul
Of human
Beings
Being
here
now
to
Participate
In this
seismic
shift
That
is
occurring


as
we
stand
up
straight
now
here
in
the 
moment of
Transformation
And of
Unknowing
all we
knew

to become
Aware of
knowing
only 
the
Unknown
in fragments
of understanding
why or not
why but
how to
be
here
together

As the
rain 
falls
to
cleanse
it all
And wash
the old
ways
away
forever
for
what is passed
is passed


what is done
is done
And is no more
What is
here now
is what 
needs our
attention

Focus.



We talk about
Stuff
Stuff 
weighing us down
Holding us in one place
Fixing us to a point in time
A place
That meant something 
Else
When I settled here long ago
Now means very little
But like a door
Wooden door
High up on a cliff face
Closed
In the middle
Unreachable
From the bottom
And if the door opens
if I open the door
Where it is now
High up on the cliff face
I will fall
There is no exit there
I must find another way
I try not to speak of my camino
Try not to 
But I do
Sometimes it is necessary
To explain what I need to say
On coming home
I said to him
I was aiming for a different life
Then
I was aiming for a different life
Now it's time to change
Shift the boundaries
Let it all go
The things
The stuff that keeps me stuck
In one place
In this place
I bought
To make me feel safe
But it didn't work
Though it helped
At times
Me and others
Refuge from The Life
Until I felt safe inside
Where it counts
Which is all that counts
Really
And now I know
Security comes from within
And  is not held within these walls
Wherever I am
I am
So
The letting go
Begins
The stepping out 
Into The Life
In a new way
Begins
Again
There is a world to see
Beyond the wooden door
Beyond the fear of falling
Failing
Beyond fear
There is only Love

The Love 
The opposite of fear
And staying in The Love
I can be anywhere
I can
Be
Anywhere
In
The Love.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Conversations in flux...June/July 2012 Part 1

The Present Moment
This is all
I have
Waking up with
random tunes in my head
Mapping the
Here & Now
Becoming conscious
of all that influences
the now
learning to be aware
of all that's affecting
my present
I can act from
and in the moment
without reacting
to things of
the past or future
they exist
still
here & now
floating
in the ether
if
I'm aware
that they exist
then I act from now
not then
I act from
this present moment
I Am
not
limited
to the impact of
the past
nor confined to
imaginings
of a future
I have no way
to fathom
From here
Just now
In this moment
Therefore
I can be
Free

My original Desiderata, now on my sister's wall

The original copy of my Desiderata 
Underlined with pink sparkly pen
Long ago
Trying
Trying to understand
Always
Finding a new version
Read by Lenard Nimoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilFzLb9D2fQ
'Live Long & Prosper'
Watching Star Trek after moving
Home
498
Living in the sitting room
converted
Bed
In the corner
TV
First mobile phone
Trying
Trying to understand
Always

'Begin Again' original copy, now on my sister's wall

Begin Again
Beginning Again
Sometimes
There is no choice
But
To
And that's okay
That is what's happening
so it's alright
It's a luxury
A privilege
To be able to
Begin Again
To have the strength
To
Continue
Beginning again
Always

In the debris of my Grandparents house I found tiny red roses blooming, a night two weeks ago
A night
Two weeks ago
She wasn't there
But I went any way
I knew she wouldn't be
But still I had to visit
I needed to be close
To her
A remnant of her
Where she spent over
50 years
of her life
And dreamed
of visiting
China
But didn't
Couldn't
Walk into
Her garden
Up the path
There yis are now
Clasping her hands together
Relishing our arrival
Not mine
Tonight
Just me
Looking at
A decrepit door
I can't open
She can't open
Any more
Varnish peeling
Away
I turn and walk back
Not wanting to
Leave
But there is nothing
Inside
Realizing
I don't need
To be here
To be with
Her
Just at the gate
Crossing the threshold
Tiny red roses
In the debris
Of a home she left
Long ago
Nature will overcome
she said
Nature will overcome
Always

Our Dublin city, rainbow in the distance

26th June 2012 Downsize Notes

Subsection of HERE & NOW

"Ici et maintenant
I HAVE NO FUTURE 
I HAVE NO PAST"

"PROJECT DOWNSIZE: ALL THAT SIGNIFIED ME"

  • 2 day project - interactive performance - Durational?
  • Put up - Install - PMcG
  • Music - R & M - evening 1 & gifting
  • Take down?
  • Auction? SB - evening 2
  • half focus - half Here & Now
  • Help P & S J - Film/photography
Getting my life into a rucsac?
TO DONATE
TO SELL
TO BURN
TO SHRED
TO GIFT (what I'd will to people)
TO DISPLAY EVERYTHING

WHAT DO I NEED TO STAY ALIVE?

ABUNDANCE is enough for every one (without waste)
-waste of stuff sitting there: to let it out into the world 
to be used.

I AM

Scanning!!
E-mail S re Project Downsize
Every letter
Every photograph
Every scrap of writing
NOTEBOOKS??
Every ticket
Every Programme
Buying time  to decide 
Mortgage arrangement
until September 2012
Bought in 2000

more notes...June/July 2012

SEAGULLS.


40 Days


bought a ticket to the world


LIGHT

candleshadows.


sea
beautiful beach.
cave on a beach
tunnel

St. Francis

synchronicity


"make your own kind of music"



'something will always happen'

What do you not want to do?

GRAVITY

DROP INS

"All is well and all shall be well and all is well" - Julian of Norwich (update of the phrase, thanks MS)

Voice stone - blue quartz

The old man on the train sitting opposite me
"Do you know what I think the greatest invention is....Glass."


[STAY IN THE LIGHT]

[becoming - 
the journey is the same overall no matter what happened
becoming aware that you're human]

'Metaphase - checkpoint'

Mapping the Here & Now
mapping our place right now.
the web where I Am located in this moment

Breath
Grounded
Aware

Desiderata: 'Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Universe is unfolding as it should.'

Love is the answer to all the questions